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Nietsche Meets a Dragon
My walk has been long,
Many verses has my song.
Have seen so many places.
I’ve worn so many faces,
I once was a grown up child.
Lived in forests running wild.
Why obey mothers?
Why please others?
Misunderstood by all,
Too deaf to hear the call.
All was well when others fell,
Throwing mud and drawing blood.
I burned out, saw with frustration,
That I would win no better station,
That biting, clawing and mindless negation,
Led me no closer to salvation.
So I sold my life to the shark.
And embraced the ocean’s lonely dark,
His wisdom I will not forget
He showed me how to foil the net.
“See… you cannot simply cease to swim,
“Life’s based on more than whim.
“Purpose of being is to be alive,
“Avoid the net and take a dive.”
After years I felt the ocean’s pressure,
I longed for air that was light and fresher.
One day, passing fields I heard a squawk,
Looked up and in a tree I saw a hawk.
Sold him my soul to fill my desire,
To be so l
I take a walk; in my hand a little stick;
Every bar makes a little click.
Mansions behind bars like a jail;
Are they rich enough to leave on bail?
Front gate is massive, high and wide.
Would ringing the bell get me fried?
The hinges resemble medieval pikes,
The top is lined with golden spikes.
I never had much luck with this type of gate.
Tried, judged and found lacking was my fate.
It seems to be built for others, for shining stars;
Not for the huddled ghosts behind the bars.
Those that enter are the few we like to show,
Those that succeed, achieve and glow.
They are who everybody wants to be;
Their glory distracts from misery.
But their example as lulling as it is,
Makes my bile taste just like piss.
What do they know about my life?
That rejection cuts like'n knife.
As the door opens for the clean,
I wonder if they've ever seen.
That besides the pearly gate,
A dirty hobo works on fate.
I think they can't see anymore
No glance at me or the second door.
The other is for people who have
Gravity is the force that pulls on mass;
At least that I learned in class.
This law fell like an apple from a tree.
It's fundamental; it is key.
All matter gravitates to this field's peak;
But is it also what I should seek?
I feel the pull, see its allure;
Dreams would become true there I'm sure.
Halfway in the vortex I get to think,
What's the chance of a bigger dream beyond the brink?
What will I forfeit by just drifting?
Right here, right now my fate is shifting!
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Feels so stupid… why fight and push?
I drift towards heaven so why should I move?
Why leave comfort and a future I can prove?
I think I have the answer:
Gravity is my cancer.
It weakens and binds me to a fate;
Thoughts get heavy, the soul has too much weight.
Gravity makes kneeling kings.
Gravity knows no wings.
Gravity is binding.
Gravity is blinding.
I have to fight against this force;
Have to pull my weight just like a horse.
And suddenly this field dies down,
I'm surprised an
The guard searches my pencil case.
Blood shot eyes and tension in his face.
He fingers his gun and I'm not sure,
How much he thinks I can endure.
After the body scanner in the narrow corridor.
Orange clad ghosts keep shuffling on the floor,
Transparent lockers, bullet proof glass,
Nobody speaks as we go to class.
LaPierre tells us about sums and to do a simple fraction.
He smiles and clicks rounds into his double action.
He puts it down and I stare into the deadly end;
He calls it his lady and the shotgun his friend.
Next is history, a tale about taxation,
About the bullets that shaped the nation.
Mr. Heston cleans a Smith & Wesson.
This scene won't help my fears to lessen.
Only good guys with a gun can stop bad guys with a gun.
Ain't no fun but a nations' paranoia beating the drum.
From fearing mortals dreaming to be heroes it grew.
It's so simple it must be true.
But grandma told me of another time,
When childhood was innocent and not a crime.
A time with brawls but no guns or ammo,
Early in the morning I see her on the shore.
Her figure so thin, her hands are sore.
Sent out to catch the fish,
Needed for the evening dish.
Her hands are cold,
Her line is old.
Slowly she threads the hooks,
Wrong bait it's from the looks.
I see a "Could tell you but I won't",
She thinks it's a good one but I don't.
"Another time perhaps" hangs also on the line,
"You wouldn't understand" she thinks is just as fine.
As she drags the hooks through the dirt,
I see what hangs from every third.
"Tell you another day."
Her boat drifts on the bay.
She casts the line and waits.
Heavy words are used like weights.
What she thinks with eyes so distant;
I cannot say her eyes are not consistent.
I can see sorrow,
Fear of tomorrow,
Tension and a forced smile,
All shattered and somewhat vile.
A ruffle on the water, the line stretches tight
She reels it, unhooks what comes to light.
Stunted fish, desperate and starved,
Kills'em with a bludgeon crudely carved.
It's her catch and will keep her alive;
My Lady is a Pulsar
My lady is a pulsing star,
Her light brightens the sky so far.
Theory has it that she shines non stop,
But I only see her when her light's on top.
A black sky with a light so frail;
She turns, spins and whirls her double tail.
What a coward she is to hide in a night so very dark,
She is unique... she is my spark.
I'm a shooting comet and my game is speed;
I wish I could just halt and fill my need.
We comets burn but harbor frozen hearts;
We cross the sky like lightening darts.
Comets are not really bright,
I'm not sure what causes her flickering light.
Her moving tails are quite hypnotic,
I dream of them. See them twisting, so erotic.
I would change my orbit to get closer to my pulsing star
But her light and darkness are at war.
I love her light and hate the lack thereof;
What a pathetic definition of my love.
In a second attempt I contemplate her tomorrow.
Will she become a singularity filled with sorrow?
I'd rather see her burst with light,
I wished she would win her fight.
The Invisible Bridge
One step from the edge I wonder…
How did I get here, I ponder.
It would be easier to leave,
And keep untested my belief.
The masses won't allow retreat,
I see their spit I feel their heat.
They are my mentors, my family and friend,
Can't believe they all came to see my end.
The test is easy; find the way,
All I see is the cliff… and grey.
They want to guide me I am sure,
And their words could help me to endure.
To give advice is why they came,
But their advice is not the same.
Some want me to use the rope,
Some suggest mere belief… and hope.
They are my teachers, should they not speak as one?
It would be easier, I would obey and done.
My nerves are worn.
NO! This is not the way!
I breathe deep and bring my fears at bay.
I banish the crowd; right now they don't exist.
I look down and see the mist.
I listen to my heart and feel the truth,
The path, obscured by the eyes of youth,
That no two moments are the same
This path is unique… and mine to claim.
It's shiny and made of brass,
It has a cover made of glass.
Within a needle always true,
points the way to heaven's view.
I watch it spin and wonder
What awaits me up a yonder.
You ask why I'm not yet gone?
Why the feat is not yet done?
I think the compass is at fault,
I'd wish the needle would just halt.
Instead it spins and spins,
And no single corner wins.
One day it will stop and only shake,
It's the signal for my misery to break.
I will be free to pursue my fate,
But what if I'm too late?
Alas! The needle is still moving!
And the pain in my legs' just proving,
That I stood here far too long,
Worrying that my direction could be wrong.
Fact is, it's quite clear,
Indecision is the fear
Of getting nowhere near
Of heaven's view, I hold so dear.
My MasterTo be young means to have a master;
the few without head for disaster.
I too had to learn and looked for knowledge;
his trust I earned and went to college.
How hard it was, as I remember now;
he cut my claws and made me bow.
How proud I was.
He made me see my flaws.
I often dreamt of going,
but never could, always knowing
I' d lose for good what he'd been showing;
that my very soul was glowing.
I learned the secrets of the sky;
exhilarating it was to be so high.
He taught me that and to be clever.
I will honor him, for now. Forever.
The saying goes: What flies high must fall.
I felt the woes, I flew high and lost it all.
I didn't crash, I do still fly,
but I listened to my master and heard him lie.
His final secret was to fly above them all.
I did and lost myself and that's my fall.
I saw the black cancer inside his chest
I saw his vanity, always above and best.
Once the mountains spat him out,
he couldn't reach a single cloud.
He cut his wings and lived the past,
when he was hig
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Let me dieGo away
Leave me alone
And let me die
Of this world
I don't want to live
Because there's no light
At the end of this tunnel
So I'll just end my life
Don't try to stop me
And we'll meet again
On the other side
Outside this dark tunnel
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
My foot taps, I can't sit still,
To continue work escapes my will.
Got no time, only quarter past noon.
Need the dime but will be fired soon.
My hand spasms and grips the table,
My arms under tension like a cable.
I just want to SNAP!
Here it goes.. oh crap!
I stand relieved; the tension gone,
Seeing the mountains my heart calls home.
I grab the glider and expand my wings.
I fly up to join others to fly like kings.
I flow with the world just like my mind;
I sigh in relief, no longer confined.
Got no time to think about tomorrow,
Don't want to linger on such sorrow.
Life is here and now.
Don't ask why, just ask how!
So many things that should be done,
Don't wait or your time's gone.
I found what dissolves my shape,
I no longer subscribe to daily fake.
My spirit is a fountain; it floods the sky,
My spirit is a mountain; it will not die!
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More