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Nietsche Meets a Dragon
My walk has been long,
Many verses has my song.
Have seen so many places.
I’ve worn so many faces,
I once was a grown up child.
Lived in forests running wild.
Why obey mothers?
Why please others?
Misunderstood by all,
Too deaf to hear the call.
All was well when others fell,
Throwing mud and drawing blood.
I burned out, saw with frustration,
That I would win no better station,
That biting, clawing and mindless negation,
Led me no closer to salvation.
So I sold my life to the shark.
And embraced the ocean’s lonely dark,
His wisdom I will not forget
He showed me how to foil the net.
“See… you cannot simply cease to swim,
“Life’s based on more than whim.
“Purpose of being is to be alive,
“Avoid the net and take a dive.”
After years I felt the ocean’s pressure,
I longed for air that was light and fresher.
One day, passing fields I heard a squawk,
Looked up and in a tree I saw a hawk.
Sold him my soul to fill my desire,
To be so l
I take a walk; in my hand a little stick;
Every bar makes a little click.
Mansions behind bars like a jail;
Are they rich enough to leave on bail?
Front gate is massive, high and wide.
Would ringing the bell get me fried?
The hinges resemble medieval pikes,
The top is lined with golden spikes.
I never had much luck with this type of gate.
Tried, judged and found lacking was my fate.
It seems to be built for others, for shining stars;
Not for the huddled ghosts behind the bars.
Those that enter are the few we like to show,
Those that succeed, achieve and glow.
They are who everybody wants to be;
Their glory distracts from misery.
But their example as lulling as it is,
Makes my bile taste just like piss.
What do they know about my life?
That rejection cuts like'n knife.
As the door opens for the clean,
I wonder if they've ever seen.
That besides the pearly gate,
A dirty hobo works on fate.
I think they can't see anymore
No glance at me or the second door.
The other is for people who have
Gravity is the force that pulls on mass;
At least that I learned in class.
This law fell like an apple from a tree.
It's fundamental; it is key.
All matter gravitates to this field's peak;
But is it also what I should seek?
I feel the pull, see its allure;
Dreams would become true there I'm sure.
Halfway in the vortex I get to think,
What's the chance of a bigger dream beyond the brink?
What will I forfeit by just drifting?
Right here, right now my fate is shifting!
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Feels so stupid… why fight and push?
I drift towards heaven so why should I move?
Why leave comfort and a future I can prove?
I think I have the answer:
Gravity is my cancer.
It weakens and binds me to a fate;
Thoughts get heavy, the soul has too much weight.
Gravity makes kneeling kings.
Gravity knows no wings.
Gravity is binding.
Gravity is blinding.
I have to fight against this force;
Have to pull my weight just like a horse.
And suddenly this field dies down,
I'm surprised an
The guard searches my pencil case.
Blood shot eyes and tension in his face.
He fingers his gun and I'm not sure,
How much he thinks I can endure.
After the body scanner in the narrow corridor.
Orange clad ghosts keep shuffling on the floor,
Transparent lockers, bullet proof glass,
Nobody speaks as we go to class.
LaPierre tells us about sums and to do a simple fraction.
He smiles and clicks rounds into his double action.
He puts it down and I stare into the deadly end;
He calls it his lady and the shotgun his friend.
Next is history, a tale about taxation,
About the bullets that shaped the nation.
Mr. Heston cleans a Smith & Wesson.
This scene won't help my fears to lessen.
Only good guys with a gun can stop bad guys with a gun.
Ain't no fun but a nations' paranoia beating the drum.
From fearing mortals dreaming to be heroes it grew.
It's so simple it must be true.
But grandma told me of another time,
When childhood was innocent and not a crime.
A time with brawls but no guns or ammo,
My Lady is a Pulsar
My lady is a pulsing star,
Her light brightens the sky so far.
Theory has it that she shines non stop,
But I only see her when her light's on top.
A black sky with a light so frail;
She turns, spins and whirls her double tail.
What a coward she is to hide in a night so very dark,
She is unique... she is my spark.
I'm a shooting comet and my game is speed;
I wish I could just halt and fill my need.
We comets burn but harbor frozen hearts;
We cross the sky like lightening darts.
Comets are not really bright,
I'm not sure what causes her flickering light.
Her moving tails are quite hypnotic,
I dream of them. See them twisting, so erotic.
I would change my orbit to get closer to my pulsing star
But her light and darkness are at war.
I love her light and hate the lack thereof;
What a pathetic definition of my love.
In a second attempt I contemplate her tomorrow.
Will she become a singularity filled with sorrow?
I'd rather see her burst with light,
I wished she would win her fight.
My foot taps, I can't sit still,
To continue work escapes my will.
Got no time, only quarter past noon.
Need the dime but will be fired soon.
My hand spasms and grips the table,
My arms under tension like a cable.
I just want to SNAP!
Here it goes.. oh crap!
I stand relieved; the tension gone,
Seeing the mountains my heart calls home.
I grab the glider and expand my wings.
I fly up to join others to fly like kings.
I flow with the world just like my mind;
I sigh in relief, no longer confined.
Got no time to think about tomorrow,
Don't want to linger on such sorrow.
Life is here and now.
Don't ask why, just ask how!
So many things that should be done,
Don't wait or your time's gone.
I found what dissolves my shape,
I no longer subscribe to daily fake.
My spirit is a fountain; it floods the sky,
My spirit is a mountain; it will not die!
The Invisible Bridge
One step from the edge I wonder…
How did I get here, I ponder.
It would be easier to leave,
And keep untested my belief.
The masses won't allow retreat,
I see their spit I feel their heat.
They are my mentors, my family and friend,
Can't believe they all came to see my end.
The test is easy; find the way,
All I see is the cliff… and grey.
They want to guide me I am sure,
And their words could help me to endure.
To give advice is why they came,
But their advice is not the same.
Some want me to use the rope,
Some suggest mere belief… and hope.
They are my teachers, should they not speak as one?
It would be easier, I would obey and done.
My nerves are worn.
NO! This is not the way!
I breathe deep and bring my fears at bay.
I banish the crowd; right now they don't exist.
I look down and see the mist.
I listen to my heart and feel the truth,
The path, obscured by the eyes of youth,
That no two moments are the same
This path is unique… and mine to claim.
It's shiny and made of brass,
It has a cover made of glass.
Within a needle always true,
points the way to heaven's view.
I watch it spin and wonder
What awaits me up a yonder.
You ask why I'm not yet gone?
Why the feat is not yet done?
I think the compass is at fault,
I'd wish the needle would just halt.
Instead it spins and spins,
And no single corner wins.
One day it will stop and only shake,
It's the signal for my misery to break.
I will be free to pursue my fate,
But what if I'm too late?
Alas! The needle is still moving!
And the pain in my legs' just proving,
That I stood here far too long,
Worrying that my direction could be wrong.
Fact is, it's quite clear,
Indecision is the fear
Of getting nowhere near
Of heaven's view, I hold so dear.
My MasterTo be young means to have a master;
the few without head for disaster.
I too had to learn and looked for knowledge;
his trust I earned and went to college.
How hard it was, as I remember now;
he cut my claws and made me bow.
How proud I was.
He made me see my flaws.
I often dreamt of going,
but never could, always knowing
I' d lose for good what he'd been showing;
that my very soul was glowing.
I learned the secrets of the sky;
exhilarating it was to be so high.
He taught me that and to be clever.
I will honor him, for now. Forever.
The saying goes: What flies high must fall.
I felt the woes, I flew high and lost it all.
I didn't crash, I do still fly,
but I listened to my master and heard him lie.
His final secret was to fly above them all.
I did and lost myself and that's my fall.
I saw the black cancer inside his chest
I saw his vanity, always above and best.
Once the mountains spat him out,
he couldn't reach a single cloud.
He cut his wings and lived the past,
when he was hig
Change this lifeHiding in the shadows
Resisting in secrecy
Trying to find a way
To change this life of misery
The future is unknown
The past is to forget
The present is dull and boring
Is this what life has to offer?
I want to change
And I keep trying
Only to fail miserabily
Every single time
eight ways you've made me small1. I wish
this was for you.
2. my journal pages - the
brown one with all our monologues -
were jarred with hollow vows of
last poems of
letting you slip into a coma
of bad memories, watching you
fall to your death off
a cascading cliff of disease
and dis ease.
it was never
easy for me
3. there's a reason I ask
whether you're grey
(dark white, elusively black, in between)
or blue (behind the clouds, under wave-foam,
whateverthefuck runs through the back of my
palms); I'd rather have
than the arms
that once held you half-
heartedly. you had always been
my harmony and I
would have killed
to have been yours.
4. it could never have been just me, the way
it could never have been just
5. disasters are not beautiful,
but how is it that you
managed to make my inner linings
converge into bows
and explode into wings the very
night you decided to rebuild your walls
to a lower height?
6. I wish
A lifeA life
when i stimulated the prayers of rib-beat
when i licked the temple of my teeth,
speed pushed my fingers shaped like confessionals
clasped holy, carved my throat to fixing-
lover; i did this for the anthem of your eyes,
the feel of strangled feet crushing the fame of stars
for the glow of streetlight worship, for the moons
of your crooning throat, for the halls of your arms,
the strayed revels of your arms,
lover: you manufactured a god out of the drugs i used
and had me addicted to the divine, to the dignity of music
you pressed in my direction: just what i am, hallelujah,
marijuana, day and night-
lover, i fell in love with your culture
that preached the real definition of dusked kneecaps,
the plea of closeted throats, the whisper of bless,
unlearning how to say please god in borrowed tongue,
i fell in love with your attention, nervous grace
lover. i levied the rubble of my sins
Even The City KnowsIs it at all easy?
Being by yourself, I mean.
Sitting in a car, on a train, on a bus--wherever you might be now, isn't it hard to be a drifter?
There are no men with newspapers, no women with strollers, no love-crazy teenagers, no annoying toddlers, no anybody.
You stare out the window, like there are people out there, calling your name. The trees are out there, and they've lost all their leaves, all their buds--they've lost everything, just like you.
The sky is out there, and it's gray and colorless, just like you.
The stars are out there, and they're so blown-out-of-proportion, and they're just like you, too.
But the trees, the skies, the stars, they're used to being left alone.
You lack the ebullience of your drink, but it, too, is fading.
Frost has gathered on windows, on the ground, on rivers, everywhere.
Frost comes and goes, just like you, when you finally melt away.
The city draws to darkness and quiet--it disappears, just like you.
But, even frost
on bradbury and table dancingYou are not a wordsmith
whatever you might like to think. ('Smith'
indicates precision and coldness and fire:
words are softer than that unless you mold them strong.)
It's a difficult road to follow, and not many
make it past the fork. Choose a path,
Janus says, whirligig keys spinning on his shoulders:
I am a wordworker, with my tools too crude, forming
rough-edged carvings painted with pretty imagery.
Notebooks scattered across the landscape
of a child's room, to be stumbled across,
read, red-penned, in the thick and choking breath of night.
When the bough breaks
a hanged man laughs. He carries typewriters
in his pockets, and cigarettes in the soles of his shoes.
I will never be a word mistress,
whoring myself to the speech of people I do not know and will never know me.
The oven is set to Fahrenheit 452, but the words were already aflame
before they ever took shape under your tongue.
You love everything they've ever written, and carry
unabashed loathing for every syllabl
Synesthesia - III have learned not to say
when your voice burns under my tongue -
learned not to shiver
at the cold of sirens on the street -
learned not to describe
the pricks and strokes and touches.
I have learned that skin cannot hear,
nor ears feel
(whichever it is).
How strange to think:
I may travel all my life
and never find a lover who can hold my laugh in his palms.
Death to the LoversHe screamed,
He tore his hair from his scalp;
But it didn't bring her back.
The beautiful girl
With the gorgeous smile
And witty remarks
Would always lay six feet under.
She would lie in her death bed,
Her arms folded on her chest
And her face full of peace
Known only to the dead.
He would be the first to rot.
First his health,
Then his sanity.
She would forever feed on his emotions
Like a pretty little leech,
Sapping his well being
And happiness from her underground world.
And he would let her,
For a fool like him
Who allowed himself to love,
Early in the morning I see her on the shore.
Her figure so thin, her hands are sore.
Sent out to catch the fish,
Needed for the evening dish.
Her hands are cold,
Her line is old.
Slowly she threads the hooks,
Wrong bait it's from the looks.
I see a "Could tell you but I won't",
She thinks it's a good one but I don't.
"Another time perhaps" hangs also on the line,
"You wouldn't understand" she thinks is just as fine.
As she drags the hooks through the dirt,
I see what hangs from every third.
"Tell you another day."
Her boat drifts on the bay.
She casts the line and waits.
Heavy words are used like weights.
What she thinks with eyes so distant;
I cannot say her eyes are not consistent.
I can see sorrow,
Fear of tomorrow,
Tension and a forced smile,
All shattered and somewhat vile.
A ruffle on the water, the line stretches tight
She reels it, unhooks what comes to light.
Stunted fish, desperate and starved,
Kills'em with a bludgeon crudely carved.
It's her catch and will keep her alive;
AerosolIt has been a day and a half since the crash, and I have found a cabin. In some ways, this is a relief. I don’t know if I could face another night on the mountain without shelter. Outside, a fire does no good: the heat simply travels upwards. However, this place also raises some difficult questions. I estimate that I’ve put eight miles between myself and the crash site. I don’t know if this will be enough. It Saving...
occurs to me that I don’t really know anything.
The survival manual recommends staying with the plane. It explains that this affords the best chance of rescue. It explains that the wreckage offers warmth and shade. It explains that seventy percent of pilots who stay are located within three days, while seventy percent of those who leave are
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